Bickering
by RainbowCrayon
Summary: Esme just wants to take everyone away for a group holiday, but with the Cullen's and sibling rivalries nothings ever that simple. One-shot.


"Esme, do we have to go away for Valentine's Day? Me and Rose had something exciting planned."

"Yes Emmett, in a house of 4 couples I felt we should be able to spend a weekend celebrating each of our individual loves, separately and together. Like a proper family, spending quality time together."

"But Esme, Jasper and I were gonna go shopping together. We spend loads of quality time together, why this holiday?"

"Yeah mum Bella and I were gonna celebrate in our meadow."

"Okay, okay kids if it means that much to you we don't have to go. I just thought since I'd never have a real family or a real family holiday, that I could pretend just this once that you were my real children, going away together. A real family. But its okay I understand that you all have individual plans."

"Aw, Mum, don't be like that you know we're your real family will go with you if it means that much. Plus I can see a real good mall nearby our villa."

"Oh Alice would you? That's so sweet; you know how much I love you kids."

"Grrr."

"Um, Edward why are you growling like that?"

"Well Bella it seems dear Edward has just taken a peak in my head and noticed a rather unwanted visitor who has driven right down to our little out of the way shack just to bring you a Valentine's gift."

"Oh god! Who is it?"

"Why it appears to be out good Sir Mike. But don't fret my sister-in-law-to-be me and Rose know how to take care of unwanted suitors. Rose lets go."

"Ah hello, I um brought these for-"

"Oh Mike are these for me? That's so sweet, I mean there quite a bit smaller than the bouquet that Emmett brought me but that doesn't mean there any less special, even if they are cheaper..."

"Um actually Rosalie-"

"And chocolates for me Mike? That's sweet. I shouldn't accept them Jasper will be horribly upset but they look just so darling, I've never seen something quite so...what's the word? Hmm, novel, yes novel."

"Well actually Alice, they were for..."

"So nice of you to stop by Mike but we really must be going. Esme's booked us a holiday and we don't want to be late. Ta'ra."

"Um, okay bye. Happy Valentines Bella."

"Oh, um thanks. I guess."

"Grr."

"Bye now Mike, thanks for the chocolates."

"Yeah, bye."

"He just won't take a hint will he? Well at least I got some chocolates out of it."

"You didn't have to kiss him on the cheek."

"Oh stop acting so jealous Jasper, you know I love you."

"It's not my fault, Edward's radiating jealousy like a jealously radiator."

"Nice simile Jasper."

"Shut up, at least I'm not the one growling over some cheap chocolates and a crappy bunch of flowers."

"Hey my flowers aren't crappy, Mike but a lot of thought into these."

"It's not my fault every single boy at Forks High School has approached Bella with some form of gift trying to get her to be their Valentine."

"Well maybe you should be scarier."

"We can't all be giants, Emmett. Some of us rely on brains as well as brawn. Of course you wouldn't understand that concept."

"Do you wanna wrestle little man? We'll show who comes up trumps in a fight."

"Boys! Stop it and get in the van we're leaving."

"Can I drive?"

"No Rosalie."

"Can I"

"No Edward."

"I'll drive."

"Hah."

"What?"

"You drive slower than I run."

"Well I'm sorry not all of us have 'super vampire speed'"

"Oh, trouble in paradise?"

"Shut up Emmett."

"That was nicely harmonised."

Mocking "That was nicely harmonised."

"Oooh, I'm Edward and I'm a hundred times better than everyone else because I can read thoughts and am a 117 year old virgin!"

"Oh shut up, all your petty emotions are giving me a headache."

"Right everyone in the car right now! I'm driving."

"Aw but Carlisle you always drive so sensibly, I'm not going if you're driving!"

"Fine then Alice's driving."

"Yes."

"Can we put some music on, I'm fed up of listening to arguments?"

"Yes we can ooh how about this?"

"Oh god no Alice."

"Well tough you know the rules, I drive, I choose. Isn't that right Carlisle?"

"That is the rule Rose, we'll just have to put up with it."

"Fine."

"1 2 3 4  
Let me hear you scream if you want some more  
Like aaah  
Push it, Push it  
Watch me work it  
I'm perfect"

"Please God Alice, I can't stand it anymore please stop."

"Edward your such a baby, if you want to listen to your music then maybe you should have driven shouldn't you."

...

"I hate Debussy."

**A/N: Okay so I got kinda bored and decided to write an all dialogue story and figured why not write about all the Cullen's going on a road trip and arguing the whole way there. I hope it's clear who people are the whole way through I tried to make it obvious but if its too confusing let me know and I'll patch it up. Everyone's a bit OOC here but never mind it'll take me a lot more writing before I manage to get them in character fully. **

**Anyway I've started to write the second chapter to Jasper's Plot and it's going fairly well I've got most of the prelim done but I still have no idea what Edward's prank is going to be so if you have any suggestions let me know and I'll put them in.**

**Thanks for reading this foolish story and foolish Authors note. Much love.**

**XX**


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